Past

It is amazing to me how as we live in the present moment, so much can be said about our past.  When I say that, I am not trying to be all melodramatic and "deep."  I am simply saying that I often look at my past-things that I did and things that happened to me-and I wonder if I had done any one little thing differently, if it would have changed the course of my life forever.

When I was younger, I would always say that I didn't really think that I had regrets.  Well, it goes without saying that I said that because of my age.  Now, I think it is crucial to have regrets.  They help to shape us and to make us realize that we are not always right.  How can one reinforce their good decisions if they don't have a poorly made decision to compare it to?  

I once had opportunities that I would almost kill for now, and I so arrogantly turned them down.  I did some stupid things that I regret, but if changing those events so that I didn't regret them, knowing what I know now, I wouldn't change a thing.  I may not always be the girl with little stress or the one who doesn't always think things have to be perfect, but I am a girl who knows without a shadow of a doubt, that I like my life.  As much as I may bitch about certain aspects of it, I know that I am lucky and that someday these longer roads will unwind themselves, making it easier for me to see the way ahead.

If it wasn't for my past, my daughter wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be where I am in school, and I wouldn't be the person that I am.  I am grateful to my stupid mistakes that I made in the past, even though sometimes I wouldn't even call them stupid.  That path lead me to where I am today, and there just happens to be nowhere else I would rather be.